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...Since Arsenal last won a Trophy
Well you don’t need me to tell you that Arsenal have been shit recently. The debates, the banner and the occasional scrap outside the ground between the Arsenal “fans”. WengerIn or WengerOut has certainly been gaining momentum, well particularly the latter. However the players have been doing their best to give the WOB’s cause that extra bite.
For me though, I have lost my spark, the fight for Arsenal has been well and truly knocked out of me by the club.
On 18 February 2016 I received a letter, delivered by courier from my once beloved club informing me that I had been given a stadium ban and that I was banned from away games too. My first thought was, what the fuck – who would play this kind of sick joke on me as very few people know where I live.
I read the letter three times and it was then that my disbelief turned to rage. After 20+ years as a season ticket holder (you know how sensitive I am about my age) and have never been spoken to by a steward or received any communication from Arsenal (apart from of course my annual season ticket renewal) I had been given a 3-match stadium ban, and an away ban during that 3-match period and they threw in for good measure that I could not do a fucking stadium tour (talk about adding insult to injury). The letter stated that that the ban was for excessive abusive language and persistent standing (yeah because I am a fucking giant and block everyone’s view). These alleged offences took place at the match against Man Shitty (back in December) and a month later against the fucking Chavs. Yeah because I would be the only person standing and swearing at these two Category A games (please).
Well I am, not going to deny that I have a bit of a potty mouth – well supporting the Arsenal who the fuck wouldn’t. Yes my language at the Chavski game wasn’t pretty and yes I did call Costa Coffee a c&nt a few times and for fuck sake I sure was not the only one and in any event he is. Then the two people who sit next to me had also had courier visits and had received 3-match bans as well. Oh why oh why do I let them lead me astray? LOL
It seems so long ago since we beat Leicester and I felt pure joy for the Arsenal and now I was being told I would be missing Hull, Barcelona, Man U and Swansea. Noooooo, please don’t take my Arsenal away. But they did!
Having been forced to watch these games from the comfort of my sofa, in the warmth of my house with one or three alcoholic beverages in my hand, it just felt wrong. I wanted to be there in the cold and being disappointed. Instead I watched from indoors, witnessed the Twitter meltdowns and just laughed and really fucking laughed. It was then I realised that a part of me had died. I was watching the game as an outsider and could see what a soulless place the Emirates was becoming with the Hurrah fucking Henrys and the Toffee Nose prawn sandwich munching Twats. I was watching Arsenal the business and not Arsenal the football team. The stadium is becoming nothing more than a tourist attraction with more cameras than David fucking Bailey (ah shit there I go giving away my age again). I want to be able to support my team with a bit of fervour and not some perceived passion which does not mean that I feel the need to call everyone a c&nt at ever match. It really is the Chavs that bring out the worse in me.
I want to be able to be emotional at the match, I want to lose myself in football and for 90 minutes nothing else matters, but I feel I no longer can.
I went back to the place that was once so sacred to me after my ban was lifted, for the FA Cup tie with Watford. I could not even be arsed to go to the pub beforehand, there was no excitement, I just felt empty inside. When I got to my seat, I thought that would change and the passion would come back. I sat there motionless almost as if waiting for rigor mortis to set in. At 5 foot 2 inches I missed most of the game as I was too scared to stand, too scared to sing. Just too fucking scared to enjoy myself. Even after losing to Watford and missing out on what was our only realistic chance of winning something this year. I FELT NOTHING, not a fucking thing.
I am now for the first time considering life without Arsenal (and no, not because they are shit). At this present time I have no desire to renew my season ticket or go to games, home or away. The whole banning episode, not only is it just fucking laughable it has left a rather unpleasant taste in my mouth for all things Arsenal. Particularly in their aloof manner in not wanting to engage in a conversation with me about the generic banning letter they sent to me, as some of the reasons where quite clearly not relevant to me. Therefore my #fraudlikeclaude award goes to the Arsenal Football Club.
I still feel so hard done by, as this was a bolt from the blue, but I have the support of my crazy shareholder friend, Mr Smith, who said he wants justice for the “Emirates Three”, albeit it rather tongue in cheek, but that is exactly how I do feel.
Is this to be an end of an era?
@GoonerJen18Follow Jenny on twitter here